A 14th-century German miniature depicting the death of Absalom. Never has the expression “by a hair” been more lethal.
This has been a fabulous season for hair.
Let me clarify – not actual hair, which summer wreaks havoc on, turning fine locks limp and coarse tresses frizzy. No, despite its Donner Party-quality snowstorms, winter remains hair’s best season – low humidity, don’t you know.
But this is proving to be the summer of metaphoric hair. First, we have one of the great hair performers in history – Donald Trump, who accepted the nomination for president of the United States Thursday at a Republican National Convention that was by turns angry, hate-filled, surreal and meh. Then The New York Times – which often covers the city as if it were a foreign country – expressed surprise at some men here spending $800 on a haircut. The article was accompanied by a photograph of Roger Federer, whose stylists include Tim Rogers of Sally Hershberger’s downtown studio.
Will The Times ever get over Roger? (When he retires, I’m sure The Gray Lady and Anna Wintour will go into mourning.) A few weeks ago, The Times ran a story on luxury watches that said Fed has been the No. 1-ranked male tennis player for 302 weeks.
Had been. Had been. The use of “has been” implies something begun in the past and continuing in the present. Feddy hasn’t been the No. 1 player in years. The present No. 1, Novak Djokovic, has so much hair that he wears it in a brush cut. (He likes to have a stylist cut his hair right before a match.)
Feddy Bear, whose temples are beginning to show, likes to have his cut in a way that pleases wife Mirka. OK: If the situation were reversed, and the wife styled her hair to please her husband, wouldn’t we think that odd? I’m sure it has happened. But still.
Says stylist Rogers of Fed’s philosophy of hair performance: “He doesn’t want his hair to fall in his eyes. (He) loves his hair and I love him.”
Oh, boy.
In our relationships with our tresses, we must take care. We all know the story of Samson, who figures in my post “The Hair Up There.” But what about that other hirsute Biblical hero, Absalom?
King David’s handsome but treacherous son – subject of some of the King James Bible’s most plaintive and beautiful writing, exquisitely recited one night on “The David Frost Show” by Richard Burton – dies spectacularly when he’s snared in a tree by his long, luxuriant locks.
We don’t have to worry about that in regard to Feddy, who trimmed his flowing tresses years ago. Besides, we know he doesn’t love anything as much as he loves himself.